We tend to think that once we establish relationships, they take care of themselves, but like muscles, neglected relationships can waste away.
Our social life also needs exercise!
- Curate a community chat
Setting up a friendly whatsapp group for your local area can kick-start conversations that might lead to closer ties. Asking ice-breaker questions – such as tv recommendations, soup recipes or book/plant/bake swaps – can open up conversations with like-minded people. Research tells us we often underestimate how likeable we are, feeling confident that you’ll be liked makes you friendlier and more open, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. - Become a familiar face
Making friends doesn’t always happen organically. Studies have found those who think friendship just happens are actually lonelier over time.The thing that often sparks a friendship is having repeated unplanned interactions – like how you made friends at school. To recreate this, try joining a group around a hobby you enjoy. A regular meet-up also capitalises on the “mere-exposure effect”, which is our tendency to like people more when they’re familiar to us. - Work with others towards a common goal
Whether it’s a one-off or something you do weekly, volunteering can help you meet like-minded people who also want to be more sociable. From helping with nature projects to lending a hand at a food bank, choose something that involves teamwork because shared goals help us bond. - Delve deeper
It’s often when we do admit a little vulnerability that we feel closer to others. So don’t be afraid to move on from small talk and, after asking questions and listening to their answers, follow up with an insight into your own state of mind. - Prioritise activities
Rather than meeting someone for a cuppa, consider a guided tour of an exhibition, a crafting workshop or a tennis lesson. Something that’s less of a social outing and more of an activity you’re doing together takes the pressure off conversation so it flows more naturally. However, ensure it’s something you’re both excited about. One of the fundamental ingredients of a healthy friendship is mutuality, which is the idea of thinking about your needs and their needs.