We all like to think we’re good listeners, but when the moment arrives do we deliver?
If you’ve ever found yourself glancing at your phone, planning ahead, or interjecting with personal experiences, then the chances are you haven’t been listening as closely as you think. We all have opinions, and when approached by a friend or colleague, we may assume they’re looking for a solution when this isn’t actually the case. Sometimes, we just want to share and to feel truly heard without expectation or judgement. But is being a good listener a natural talent, or something we can all improve?
Supportive listening is a skill which we become better at the more we practise it. Putting down your phone, keeping eye contact, paraphrasing what’s just been said, and nodding in agreement so the speaker feels heard, understood, validated. Not everyone is looking for a solution. Sometimes, they just want to be heard.
It’s good to remember that people reach out to speak with us for all manner of reasons. Not everyone is looking for a solution. Sometimes, they just want to be heard.
5 quick tips to get you started:
- Listen for non-verbal cues – pay attention to body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, and gestures.
- Don’t interrupt – hold any questions or attempts to relate until they’ve finished talking.
- Give feedback – nod, make noises that encourage them to continue, and avoid fidgeting.
- Paraphrase and reflect – summarise what the other person has said to ensure you are understanding, and show that you’re listening.
- Don’t offer a solution or opinion – unless asked. If in doubt, ask if they want to vent or hear suggestions.